Sitting here as the clouds begin to roll in for their daily rain dump, and the post-lunch procrastination fog is thick. (Did you hear that thunder?) I have a three-hour workshop to plan for this Saturday, but there is a blog post tangled in my brain that is keeping me from getting to my work. Pardon me while I detangle it now.

I recently changed my avatar across the webz. I have written about my obsession with avatars and identity before. So why bring it up again now? Let’s back up. Actually let’s take a look at the image first:

cc licensed ( BY NC ) flickr photo shared by Intrepid Flame

Not minutes after it was posted, I received a few responses:

What’s with the new avatar pic? Looks dangerous …

Your new avatar looks like some kind of stalker killer from a nasty video game nightmare.

Your avatar makes me think you’re gonna eat my brains.

These comments were all shared in good humor, and I was not upset by them. I get it. The picture looks odd, sinister, maybe even a bit scary. You must be asking yourself, does something so petty warrant a blog post? Bear with me. As we work with students and talk about the idea of identity creation and online communities and interactions, we often mention the importance of honesty and authenticity. We talk about being ourselves and the distrust of strangers we meet online–the importance of visual cues about who we are become more and more important. So why did I, inadvertently, choose an image that makes me look scary? Why aren’t I changing it any time soon?

Because this image, the look in the eye, the beard, the lighting, the mood, the tone is how I felt yesterday. It is a part of who I am at this time in my life. I have spent lots of energy creating authentic flashes of who I am to build my online persona. I am not a photoshopped head-shot, all smiles and professional looking. (No offense to those of you who use professional head-shots) Sometimes I am a silly dad, sometimes I am who you see above. I love seeing the various phases of who I have been, who I am, and who I might become, everytime I see images of myself reflected back from the interwebz

This may not be the most profound blog post,  I will be the first to admit, but as we model behavior for our students I can’t help but insist that being yourself, even when that is not the best face forward is a valuable act. One of the most common criticism of online life is that, because participants can choose what they share, we only share positive images and tell happy stories from our lives, thus creating false images of who we really are. This image, and the others I share are my way of proving those critics wrong. What you see if what you get? But be careful, because that person is always changing and has more depth than a static smiling avatar.