I received the following email today from a former student from Doha who is now living in Nigeria:
Hello sir,
It’s been quite a while indeed! I can begin to tell you all I have experienced in Nigeria. I thought you were facing some problems when I sent you a message and you didn’t reply. But, James M. told me you were alright. So, I felt compelled to give it another shot.
Education here is really hard and rigorous and I’m in year 10. It’s really hard keeping up with my blog cause it’s hard getting internet. But, fortunately am on holiday and my dad got a really good internet. So I have decided to go back to writing the way YOU have taught me and not the way they teach me here in Nigeria. They write with FORMULAS for god’s sake. I scream at friends that they should learn to express themselves freely and not like a robot! They just stare at me as if am stupid. But I can’t blame them. That’s how they’ve been taught since they were kids. Anyways, I found a really good website for teenage writers called ”young writers society”. You post your work and other writer’s around the world review it. It’s like a blog but better cause it’s mainly a society filled with people my age. You could search me up on this name ”Temi”. I have also been in touch with James M. and his blog and he seems to get smarter everyday. . It’s sickening feeling. One that if I don’t run away from it would take over all my consciousness. Then I would become a robot too. I can’t let that happen.
I hope you reply, I miss you sir. See you in the future.
My response:
Dear James,
I just sent you a quick email informing you that I could not respond to your note tonight, because I am too busy. It is a quiet Wednesday night and I am getting ready to write for a few hours. I am working on a book, you see, and I have committed myself to at least seven hundred and fifty words a night. As I clicked send, however, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and your words. Realizing that there is nothing more urgent than the words I should share with you at this time, I decided to use my seven hundred and fifty words to write to you, because really what writing could I do that would be any more important than this?
You are the reason why I am here, James. You are the reason I teach, I write, I grow, I learn, I love. I live. I am here for you and every kid like you who has ever felt, “I can’t wait to get out and start feeling like a human being again and not like a robot.” I have been there, James. I was born there, James. I am still there, James. The world is not an easy place for individuals. It is not made for freedom and dreams, no matter what we tell ourselves. We are buried under culture and religion and societal expectations. We are buried under our own anxiety, not to mention the needs of our friends and family.
But sometimes, some of us, see the cracks in the walls. We usually see them when we are young. I think I saw it first when I was eight, but before we know it, we feel like we must scream at our friends when they follow formulas. We want to shake the world awake and express ourselves in whatever form we feel necessary. Adults find spontaneous need for expression this scary. They box it and shape it and label it and try to turn it into a future, a career, security, but the problem is that you cannot confine freedom. It is who we are. It is our nature.
I teach not because I am an expert. I have no answers. I am lost and wandering. I teach because I am attracted to that youthful freedom. It still burns within me, and honestly most adults have long lost the passion that got them through their adolescence. They lie to themselves using words like maturity, security, and responsibility, when really they should be using words like regret, compromise, and loss.
What am I trying to say? Am I just rambling to fill my quota? I am trying to say that you have a gift, James. Insight. Passion. Drive. Talent. Love. Thirst. Curiosity. The world will do its best to chip away at each of these characteristics. I don’t need to tell you that. Look around, you see it everywhere you look. It is not unique to Nigeria. Trust me.
I remember one time in class you said something like, “Mr. Raisdana you see the world in such ugly shades and notice everything that is wrong. How can you sleep at night?” Do you remember that? The answer is still the same: I see the world as it is. Sure it will get us down, sure it is not how we want it to be, sure it will try to turn us into robots who write by using formulas, it will force us to take accounting instead of art, it will tell us to grow up, but we must not allow it to extinguish the fire inside each of us.
That is all we have, James. Those tiny flickering flames of hope and daring. Of love and passion inside of you is the same one inside of me. It is the same energy in every dreamer and artists, every saint and prophet. This fervor of the imagination is what keeps us going. It is why you are emailing me and why I am writing you with tears in my eyes. It is not childish or disillusioned. It is what will keep you sane. It is what will keep you company when everything else is too much to bare. It will sing you to sleep and point out the moon when you are alone. It will write your books, paint your pictures, make your films, and carry you on stage. It will support you when there is no one else, but most importantly…it will help you find the flame inside others.
It is what has brought you here. It is why I teach, why I write, why I share and create. I tend my flame and hope that others will be drawn to it. Because if it goes out…well let’s not think of that. Thank you for thinking of me and more importantly writing to me James. I have been receiving emails like yours from students from all around the world for years, and I can honestly say that these emails are the most important part of my life. As teachers we are often vilified, but to know that our passions are passed on is the most rewarding thing I could ever imagine.
I will look you up on that website and you can always find me online. The future is far and wide. I am sure our paths will cross. You are not a robot, no matter what they say! You are one of the most intelligent and passionate artists I have ever met just hold onto that. I hope you don’t mind that I have shared this on my blog. I am hoping that others will join in and share their thoughts. We are individuals, but there is power in the communities we build. Society is not only what others say it is. It does not control us completely. We have a say. We have a right to share this flame. I hope who ever is reading this will do just that…
Your long heartfelt reply only confirms what I have learnt about you as an educator: you are passionate about your profession.
I know this e-mail to your former student will touch both his heart and mind, and it will help him build his own identity on even more solid grounds. Your openness spells authenticity and that is what kids, teens, adults never take for granted.
Although I am used to it due to experience, it has never ceased to amaze and frustrate me that WHERE you live decides HOW you live, learn and dream…Your student is of your kind. And that is partly thanks to you.
Jabiz, I don’t know that I have ever heard anyone express their passion for teaching as you have here. How you seem to accept all that is wrong in world yet still look for your tiny place within it. It is people like you and James who are going to have such a huge impact on shaping the future, perhaps without even realizing it. Your passion spreads quickly to your colleagues, friends and students. Fire that rages like this rages out of control and will consume everything in its path. Let’s hope its not extinguished until the world is righted. Well done!
Thank you for sharing this note. You have articulated why we are choosing to be teachers. As you say we are vilified. But then we are here because we care. We are here. Beautifully written.
Yes, very nicely written, indeed! What you write here, however, makes one of your recent tweets even more confusing: “We like the idea of teaching kids they can be whatever or whoever they want, but really we want them to be a few things we deem ‘successful'”……..or did I miss something?
Amazing. Eloquently written. But most importantly, honest and heart-felt. I love the line, ” It is why you are emailing me and why I am writing you with tears in my eyes.” You definitely open yourself up to the world and to your students. It’s the only way the flame of passion carries on. It’s funny, I get those feelings when I see a student, who struggles with traditional classes, shine on the stage or the field or the court. I guess that’s why we love what we do. For those moments. I need to work on creating more of them.
Thanks for the reminder. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to the students who shone in the school play last night.
Jabiz, I was very moved by your letter to James. As a veteran teacher, I identify with your sentiments, so beautifully expressed. But as I read (and re-read) your letter, I also find myself imagining what it will be like for James to read this and see inside your soul… and wishing my own children had had teachers like you when they were at school. Thank you for sharing this.
WoW Sir i knew you could write with felling but that was something else. That was a work of art that was what you were trying to get all the students last you to write like. I know understand that to do something that you have to believe it.
I am really looking forward to your book. I have just realised that I started an autobiography a couple of years ago. I will continue to write it when I come back from my trip to Romania.
Sir the inspiration in that was so alive that it made it feel as though you were talking to me. Sir I would like to say thank you for using you 750 words last night because as James A. would have said it has made me smarter. I believe that what you just said gave me more knowledge than what anyone else in the world would have said.
By the way sir you have just given me a new inspiration for my fourth song.
You are the best person I know in the world.
Thanks James. I just opened up and let’er rip. No filter, no editing and just let it spill. Sometimes that is all it takes to connect with people. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but just remeber that this skill or talent or whatever you call it has come after years of persistence. Like you, I began to find people inspire me at a young age, but always stayed true to my heart and kept going.
Your journey has just begun, so take it slow and find your pace, find your voice. It will change, but it will also always stay the same. I am here for you when you need it, but I am confident that you are well on your way. Just look around and take it the world, give it shape when you can, but just keep asking questions.
I am honored to be the best person you know, but I hope I am just a mirror to you. You are the best person you know. Trust me.
thanks for this James and Jabiz. It helps remind me to tend my flame.
Sir, thank you. Thank you, for you’ve shown me that when the world tries to douse my flame, I should just keep tending it. So now I tend it with the little poems I write in my closet. Letting my sorrows and grief come to life on paper. This stage of my life would be dedicated to sustaining my flame. Till that moment. The moment when my flame turns into a fire and affects the lives of whoever hears every single word I utter and write. Thank you sir, for you’ve given me courage. Our transactions remind me of that book you gave me- ”Letters to a young poet”. Do you remember? I am happy to say that you are my mentor. From now on, as I tend my flame, I shall also find people like us in my country. For I know surely that a flame is still flickering, quietly in the corner; in the hearts of most of my friends here in Nigeria. I’ll help them tend it (the way you sustained mine). For they can’t do it alone. Their imagination has been broken into pieces. But I’ll help them find those pieces and put it together.
So I’ll wait silently and keep writing my poems (making my fire strong). For I know in the future our paths shall cross and then… well, only fate knows. Till we meet again!
Hi James,
This line gave me goosebumps:
I cannot tell you how happy this makes me. Of course I remember that book. We are lucky to live in an age where being in contact is so easy. I will be proud to be your mentor, if you promise to keep sending me your poems and sharing what you write. I am sure this relationship will work both ways.
As you look for inspiration in Nigeria, remember that we are not always the experts, sometimes it is best to simply listen and observes. Let others tell you their stories. You will be surprised by how you can learn from them.
And when you are ready share your stories and poems with the world. Remember that as an artist, the world needs your voice too.
Thanks everyone for your touching and humbling comments. It was not my intention to have you heap praise on me, but to share your own insights with James. To show him that he is not alone and that many adults/teachers are still following our own paths. So while I appreciate your comments towards me, remember that James has read this post and comments, what do you have to say to him and students like him? Better yet, share this post with your students and see what they have to say about it.
But please do not think me ungrateful. Your generous comments are as always a source of affirmation and love for what I do and who I am. For better or worse I need you and the support you give me. So thank you.
Well, I am drawn to your flame and have now tears in my eyes from the bare passion and honest fervor in your letter to James, not at all what I expected to find as I began to research the presenters for the Learning2.011 conference I’m hoping my school will allow/support me to attend in Sept.!
Thank you for speaking my language~ I feel quenched! This is my first year as an international teacher. I am an artist who teaches art in Saigon at SSIS. I feel just as passionately about connection, creative freedom, and giving voice to all creative authentic impulses. I am equally zealous about integrating all sorts of technological tool with/into my classroom, studios with my own art and writing. our enthusiasm is contagious! Thank you!
Hi Suzyn,
Thanks for your kind words. Though I think you will be surprised by how many amazing talented people will be in Shanghai! I really hope you can make it, so we can meet face to face. I know a few people at SSIS, Robert, Gary, Adam, and Kirke come to mind.
Anyway, I appreciate you doing the research and tracking me down. Whether we meet in Shanghai or not, I look forward to future conversations here on the blog and Twitter.